Valuing myself

You are encouraged to read through the 12 Steps for CoDA everyday as you begin this journey in order to become familiar with the steps and what the path looks like as we develop the necessary tools to have healthy relationships. We use the workbook for Codependent No More as a tool in our group to help walk us through the twelve steps. 

page 67

"I learned that no matter what mountains appeared in my path, a way would be made for me to go over, through, or around them, and usually I'd climb to the top. For whatever problems I had, the solutions I needed also appeared."

As we learn to let go of holding on to control so tightly, and learn to listen and relax, we learn to be okay with where we are, and what we must conquer, endure and get through. Our group is a safe place to share, to listen and to receive support and information. No matter what we are going through, we are accepted, valued and supported. 

Self love is an important part of this journey. Learning to love myself, my habits, my circumstances, my feelings, my life just as it is. Knowing that I am valuable and I am lovable - not for the things that I do, but just because I am. Just because I exist. 

Its hard. I am so hard on myself at times. I am a perfectionist, and I hear all too clearly all the faults that people see in me, and the wrong they see in who I am. But when I am feeling unworthy of love or affection - I have to stop and remember that I am worthy and that no matter what I do or dont do for myself or for others, I am still valuable and I am still worthy of people caring for me and treating me correctly.

As it was said in our meeting last week, we teach others how to treat us. 

And this is a shift we need to make in our lives.

We need to retrain others on a new way of how to value and how to treat us.

And we need to retrain ourselves on how to treat ourselves and value ourselves.

And one of the first steps is spending time with myself and on myself. Working on my steps, working on retraining my thought patterns and retraining my brain - and listening.