Moral Inventory - Looking at my positive assets

Last week we had a great discussion on pg 90 in the workbook - Looking at my Positive Assets

This is a part of the moral inventory that helps us remember our good traits, and maintain our balance. 

We talked about making sure that we don't associate our label of ourselves as codependency as negative. The possibility exists that you could 

change your perspective about this, and in seeing your good traits, wear codependency as a badge of honor. 

We are compassionate

Caring

Giving

Loving people. We have many excellent and valuable qualities that make us who we are. 

And a codependents, we share in many of these positive traits. 

Now its true, that our blessings can also be a curse at times, but that is what we are developing tools for - ways to reign in our talents gifts or "special powers" so that they are never harmful to ourselves or others.

We also looked at pg 96 and 97 which is a chart of Incident Origins, beginning to search for the first time that we know we felt a certain way, the actions that led up to it, our feelings about it. 

We had great sharing of some very personal, heart breaking and yet triumphant stories. 

We talked about how through this process we are letting some of the bad stuff go - emptying our cup of this bad stuff a little at a time, so that there is room for the good stuff.

We are recreating ourselves.

This week we will discuss BOUNDARIES

Here is the worksheet and the link to the article I passed out:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/

Worksheet – Boundaries

List some healthy boundaries:

What are some healthy boundaries that you have?

What are boundaries that you have a vague understanding of, or that you understand but cant keep?

Who do you allow to cross your boundaries?

Why do you allow someone to cross your boundaries?

When are boundaries not important?

When are they important?

What is a good internal compass for boundary control?

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LAST WEEKS DISCUSSION:

From the Workbook – Lesson Five - You’re a Keeper

Pg 90 -  Let’s look at Positive Assets

What are some positive assets, (emotions, beliefs, behaviors, skills) that You possess.

What are some specific examples of these?

Pg  96 – 97

Review the Family of Origin Chart ( another alternative to personal inventory)

Original Incident	Feelings about it	Belief Created	Today’s Behavior

 and Discuss the topic “ Recreating Yourself”

“You are identifying and getting rid of the old things that hold you back to make room for life to deliver good stuff to you”

Step 4 - and beginning our Moral and Spiritual Inventory

Last week we talked a little about Step 4 - and beginning our Moral and Spiritual Inventory and how that looks.

We reviewed the table in the workbook that asks us to list emotions, beliefs and behaviors that we experience that are negative, and try to think of the first instance in our life where we remember feeling this, and how this manifests in our life today.

I started by making the table that she describes in this book, and brainstorming on the negative emotions, behaviors and beliefs that I have. I then skipped to column 4 and rated each of these on the pain scale of 1 -10.

This gave a good idea of prioritizing for me. 

So I think then that I will look at the present, how this is manifesting in my life now, and then continue to search on the origin of this in my life.

We also talked about spending sometime in silence each day. Like quiet meditation - where you sit, with no music, not activity and no people around. 

Trying to quiet your mind and thoughts, and listen to what the Universe, your higher power etc are telling you... spending time in listening mode with our higher power is essential.

How do you do this.... and this seems hard were some comments on this silent part of each day.

Really you want to be still, be silent and let God talk to you.

The best way is to find a quiet and private alone spot where you will not have any interruptions, and turn off your phone.

Then close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing.

Counting slowing as you inhale to 5

and counting slowly as your exhale as high as you can count.

Then again.

Focusing on how the breathing feeling, how it sounds, what your lungs are doing when you inhale and exhale.

When you find your mind wandering - gently bring it back to focusing on your breathing.

We also talked more about the frenzy that our minds can bring us to when we are worrying or we are in fear, or anguish over life or personal relationships.

We are to continually remind ourselves that we are powerless and that GOD IS IN CONTROL.

We should find security in the fact that a power so much greater than ourselves is in control of our concerns and our life, because we know then it is in very capable and trustworthy hands.

Are you having trouble giving power and control over in a particular area or relationship in your life? 

Are struggling with holding on to the stress and the pain that comes with this?

Imagine yourself holding tightly to this area of your life. This thing, this relationship. HOLD TIGHT AND SQUEEZE your hands together tightly.

Then open your hands, and see the problem leave your grasp - and fade into the air - for God to handle and control.

This is a great mental image for releasing our tight grasp - and giving our struggle away.

Continuing Forward and Working the Steps - Step 4 and Step 5

I have been looking at Step 4 in the book, and beginning the chart of the Inventory.

I will say that the first couple of times that I have begun this process, the emotions that I must review and list come crashing to the surface so intensely that I have to stop.

I can only give it about 20 minutes in a sitting.

There are some great videos online of people walking through the 4th and 5th Steps. They were very interesting to watch.

Here is one that is just words on the screen set to music that I really enjoyed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ51kx1TZAM

We are to find someone we trust to help us go through STEP 5. I have a few recommendations for people when this comes up for your step process.

I have to say that in this new year, I have no resolutions. I am just hoping to make it through with a healthy attitude, courageous heart and learning mind.

I am glad to have this group and to have been through Steps 1 - 3 before the new year began

So maybe one resolution:

That I will continue to remember that I am powerless, and that the only way to come back to a life of sanity and to have any semblance of a manageable life, 

I must give my will completely over to Him and that my will must be HIS WILL.

I must LET Go and LET GOD each day, and in every way. 

Moment by Moment